Can you believe she isn’t getting an epidural?
Why is she letting her kid throw a fit in the store like that?
I can’t believe she is going back to work already?
Why is her sick kid here at the party?
These are all questions I have asked about other moms or other moms might have asked about me. I could have sadly thought of hundreds of other ways that I have judged other moms in the past few years. Even though I am a VERY flawed mom I feel like it’s okay for me to decide what type of parenting is right and which is wrong.
I don’t think I’m alone. I have sat with other girls as we counted up all of the “wrongs” other moms have committed.
So why are we so hard on other moms?
The short answer: We all think our way is right! I usually think my way of parenting is best and if you don’t agree, you’re wrong. That is hard for me to admit but I am constantly comparing myself to other moms and if there are differences, I judge their way as silly or overprotective. I have only been a mom for 2 years and I rarely share my mistakes or short coming with other moms because I don’t want them to know that I don’t always have it together.
Why should we stop judging other moms?
Luke 6:37-38 says:
Do not judge and you will not be judged […]
For with the measure you use it will be measured to you.
I read this the other day during my bible reading and this verse really stuck out to me. I immediately started thinking about how hard I am on other moms in my head and how they are doing the exact same thing to me. What a bad feeling! I want people to support and encourage me but I knew that I needed to first become a source of support and encouragement to others.
What can we do to end the mommy judgement?
* Realize that just like you, other moms are typically doing the best they can and what is right for their unique family. They are making thoughtful decisions based on their different experiences and needs and it will not be the same as your family’s needs.
* No one is perfect. You aren’t. Other moms aren’t. It’s okay. There has never been a perfect mom in the history of the universe so just use prayer, the bible, and women of faith close to you to guide you.
* Mind your own business, or as I like to say “Mind Your Own Bees Wax!” Unless you think a mom is doing something that is going to permanently harm or scar their child, stay out of it. There is probably a reason they are doing what they do that you don’t know about.
* Only give advice when other moms are asking for it. This one is REALLY hard for me because any time someone is having trouble I feel like I need to share my “golden” wisdom from being a mom less than two years 🙂 If they ask, tell them whatever worked best for you, but otherwise, just listen.
(P.S. If you are constantly complaining about your children you are going to get advice, so if you don’t like that, stop complaining so much)
* Love instead of judge. Mother Teresa said “If you judge people you have no time to love them.” Every mom has a similar goal, to raise wonderful children into wonderful, loving adults. I want my son to be a shining light in this world and I am going to do what I think is best to get him there. I know my mommy friends are working towards the same goal, but we are all going to get there differently.
I have a challenge for all of the mommies out there! Try to go one week without saying anything judgmental about another mom or dad. If a judgmental thought comes into your head just think “to each his own” and dismiss that thought. If we all start to love each other more and judge less this mommy job will be a lot easier because we won’t be worried about what others think anymore.
We need to support and love each other as moms because being a parent is the hardest job on Earth. Let’s accept our differences and be on the same team 🙂
Here are some pictures of my wonderful mommy moments 🙂 Enjoy!
|Ahh the happiness of his first Christmas 🙂
|If he can fit in it, he will find a way.
|We were covered in mud head to toe but this was one of my favorite days of playing outside last summer and I’m pretty sure it was one of his too.
|This is taken through the knob hole in the laundry room door. The knob fell off so we were being careful to keep it shut. He went in and shut the door and his face says it all. Oops! I had to take a pic first to document this great mommy moment and then worked to get him out.
|Another happy Christmas memory…
|I don’t even know what to say about this one 🙂
|You know your kid gets hurt a lot when you have two folders on your computer entitled “Black Eye”
Do you feel like moms judge each other too much? How can we encourage each other to be better moms?
Click on the icon below to read stories from the series “Confessions of an Imperfect Mother” by Beauty Through Imperfection